try2beahero

1. I once had a romantic dream involving clifford the big red dog.
2. When I'm feeling insecure, I sometimes say mean things to my parakeet.
3. I have some really sexy underwear that no one has ever/will ever see.
4. I have a canadian flag cape that I sometimes wear while cleaning.
5. Sometimes I go to work out at the gym just so I can secretly treadmill under the tv with Dr. Phil.
6. My nickname when I was little was the pillsbury dough-girl and some still refer to me by it in ill-humor.
7. I mock people in silly voices that really don't sound like them at all.
8. To me, the craziest people make sense, it's the practical ones that I worry about.
9. I bite my fingernails and lie to my mother about it.
10. My absolute favorite food is toast.
11. A fern is not a plant that Id like to be named after.
12.I have always had a dream of being able to do a series of gymnastic manuvers in a hallway at school at any given time.

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Who are you and why do you want to know about my Bowel Movements

please sir, not my matty

He fell to the floor and I panicked. I thought he was having an asthma attack. I pulled out my lifeguard mask and began basic cpr procedures that I had gotten certified for the previous week. I yelled out to the hallway and one teacher came running. He was breathing again, very gradually, and the ambulence was on their way. I was so confused and uncertain about what had just happened. I had just actually possibly helped to save someone and it was this beautiful boy.

Matt was all of a sudden breathing really hard and grabbing at his chest. No one was noticing. I asked him what was wrong but he couldnt speak. I asked him to nod if he was choking but he just motioned toward his pack.

He was saying Hi and I was stunned. I didnt take him for the type who approached people on his own. He was always swarmed by people who were entranced by his mysteriousness. He was looking at me and I wasnt sure what to say. I grabbed my bag and books, said hi to him, and walked away out of the library. I didnt look back. What the hell was I doing? Why was I walking away? I was scared of what this might mean. Did he find me interesting? Surely not, I didnt stand out, I looked like a million other people.

I am making a pause in my reccolections about Matthew Hollister to make an entry about Adam. Adam is a victim of a harsh world. He never leaves his house, but who would, when you are deathly afraid of people and suffer from lukemia. I love you Ads, I LOVE YOU. I would lay dowm my life for you, my kidnies, my liver, my lungs, anything you ask. But of course you wouldnt because you never do and I wish you would demand more from me. I wish you would not feel bad about asking me for help because I am so willing to give it to you discretly. You are my best friend in the whole world and their will never be someone I am as comfortable with. You make for a few times every week feel like I am worthy of life. you make me feel sure of who I am and what I want. You increase my focus and when I loose doses of you i get dizzy with sadness. And you told me once, along time ago, that you felt the similare connectedness that we have. And just because it will never be romantic does not make it less intense or less important or less appreciated. You will never slip on my priority list because I recognize your genuine approach as a human being. Be strong, for yourself, and for me. Remember to never feel as if you cannot tell me when you feel like there is something on the tip of your toungue. Never. Ive told you everything over the years that I dont hold back anything anymore. My words go out to you Adam, my words go out.

Well, you see, he had this way of nicely letting people know that he hated them, so that it almost felt like his rejecting you so utterly was a gift rather than an insult. I can not remeber exactly what it was that he said when he first pproached me. I had thought about this moment before, what I would say, what Id be wearing...but he was the one who approached me whereas I would have been the one to approach him eventually. I realize though, that this would have been an unrealized daydream if he hadnt initialized a conversation. I am not one for bold actions when it comes to fragile boys. i didnt believe then, that he had the capability to destroy me, to make me regret loving the world. to make me take back all my subtle affections before giving in to his memory. you see, he said hi and I sat there wondering at whether it was a trick, or if he was really saying hi.

You see, it wasnt about his scar or even the way his eyes lacked all color so that they seemed almost silver. It was the absense of false politeness that everyone else had. And when he first approached me, all I could think about was how much I didnt want him to think that I was the same as the rest of them, the same as everyone else. And I was determined to be the first person to try and figure him out. How ignorant I was then, how nieve and easy.But I soon would find that there was so much more responsibility to take on.

He has this subtle scar across his eyes. Some claimed it was a sign he was dangerous and I let it inintrigue me.